CANNIBAL CARTEL

CHIP CHIMNEY (OO Reporter): I’m here with “Sick” Nick Mondo and Madman Pondo, the two newest recruits to Vic Grimes army, the “Cannibal Cartel”. Your surprise appearances at “KNOW the LEDGE” sent shockwaves of fear through the wrestling underground. People want to know where you’re coming from and what you’re doing here working with the “Kilo Killa” of BCCW, Vic Grimes.

SICK NICK MONDO: I’ve been reading about BCCW ultra violence in magazines and decided that I want to be there. I sent Vic Grimes a tape of some of my matches, and he gave me a shot. Things took off from there. BCCW’s the first place where I actually felt at home. It wasn't like, "look at that freak, why does he want to bleed?" anymore. I had a lot of fun at that show [“KNOW the LEDGE”]. I've always done violent stuff in my matches. It's just that lately I've turned it up more than a notch. I guess I'm testing myself to see how far I can go. So far, I haven't reached the limit. It sometimes worries me to think how far I may go someday. When I did King of the Death match for IWA Mid-South, those were a couple of legit fights. I had a good time there, but both of those matches got pretty nasty. You kinda have to do it that way for kotdm, though.

CHIP CHIMNEY: What about the Backseat Boy?

SICK NICK MONDO: I get along great with Trent Acid, too.

CHIP CHIMNEY: But what made you guys want to be Death Match wrestlers??? It’s extremely taxing, and most traditional wrestling fans don’t even respect it.

MADMAN PONDO: Straight professional wrestling wasn't working out -- I wasn't making any money. I knew I wanted to be a professional wrestler. But I knew I didn't have a great body, or the physical skills of a Dean Malenko, or the high flying skills of a Rey Mysterio, or the technical wrestling skills of a Ric Flair. But I could cut myself like a piece of sausage. Watching wrestling, it was always the crazy guys that got me the most excited -- guys like Abdullah the Butcher, Bruiser Brody, and the Sheepherders. I wanted to come up with a name that showed that I was crazy like them. There were guys with names with 'Crazy' or 'Maniac', but nobody had the name 'Mad Man'. Abdullah was the closest, they would call him the 'Mad Man from Sudan', but that was a nickname as opposed to his full name. So that's how I chose 'Mad Man.'" There was this movie called The Party Animal and a character in there named Pondo Sinatra who was a seven-year college student who never got laid. I do believe that my buddies called me Pondo because I never got laid.

CHIP CHIMNEY: But there’s no psychology in this crap! It’s all madness and brutality!!!

MADMAN PONDO: You can use psychology, you just have to figure out what it is. Say you have a barbed wire board match. The biggest bump that you're going to take through that barbed wire board, that's your finish, that's the coup de grace. All the small stuff, you do that first, build up to the big bump, everybody goes nuts, and that's the 1-2-3. Nowadays, too many guys will go out there and bang each other in the head for the whole match and call themselves hardcore. You have to use psychology. A lot of guys can't figure that out, they just do big bumps all the way through.

CHIP CHIMNEY: Insanity. What’s the worst injury you’ve ever sustained in a Death Match?

SICK NICK MONDO: Tough to say. I've broken my right wrist 3 times. It has arthritis in it now, and if I break it again, my doctor says I'll need surgery. I use like a whole roll tape on my wrists in each match now.

MADMAN PONDO: The worst injury I ever had? One time, I fractured my skull. I didn't have enough money to get stitches or anything, so I didn't take it to the hospital. Instead, I superglued it shut. I didn't get all the holes all the way in, and then air started leaking into my brain. For about a month and a half, I would turn my head one way, and it would feel like the room kept turning.

CHIP CHIMNEY: You guys have signed on with the “Kilo Killa” Vic Grimes, presumably for the business “perks” – but now you’ve inherited his blood feud with THE MESSIAH. What are your thoughts on assuming frontline duties in this war?

SICK NICK MONDO: Messiah fits in well. And will be destroyed.

MADMAN PONDO: There are so many guys who claim to wrestle hardcore, guys who get a bunch of weapons, throw them in the ring and hit each other with them, if I see another cookie sheet… If they want to call themselves hardcore, fine, they're hardcore. Even more hardcore than the goofs who are just hitting each other are the lightweights, the highflyers that are committing suicide, flipping around like Evan Bourne, to me those guys are hardcore. Any monkey with a notion can do what I can do, but if I got up there and tried to do what they do I'd probably be dead. The kind of hardcore that I do, and this is where I get my respect in the business, I'm not just swinging things, although I do swing things, is that I do DEATHMATCH hardcore, the kind that originated in Japan, that's where hardcore came from. There is goofy hardcore, which is guys just hitting each other in the head with stuff, there's high-flying hardcore, which I totally respect and then there's deathmatch hardcore, which is what I do. I can't do the flips of a high flyer and there are a hundred and twenty guys in the locker room who can do the wrestling that I can. But there are only a handful of guys who will go that extra mile and wrestle in barbed wire. Therefore, that is where I've made my name. I like the hardcore the best; the only part I hate is going to a restaurant or going to a family dinner. You know how most grandmothers ask you to take your hat off at the table; mine asks me to put one on.

CHIP CHIMNEY: So what should fans expect to see at the next BCCW PPV “Behind the Walls”?

MADMAN PONDO: I hope people come to the shows because I always give 110%. Death match fans know what to expect, but I hope that some people who have never seen a death match show come out too. They're like a car wreck. As you're going by them, you're going to slide your eyes over there no matter what. Depending on how you feel determines if you stare, or if you turn your head.

CHIP CHIMNEY: Rumor has it that you’re willing to challenge The Messiah or any one of his allies to a “Four Corners of Pain” match? What exactly is that?

MADMAN PONDO: There are four pits around the ring, one pit of thumbtacks, one pit of barbwire, one pit of glass and one pit of mouse traps. You just fight until someone goes into the pit; you don't win unless you pin the man, but it's pretty good if you can get them in all four pits.

CHIP CHIMNEY: Nice. Any last words?

MADMAN PONDO: I think wrestling will quit me before I quit wrestling. I don't think I'm a good enough wrestler to go (as long as they have). But I've done a lot of things as a professional wrestler. I've had opportunities that I never thought I would ever have. I've wrestled in Japan, which was my dream, I was in a horror movie with Robert (Freddy Kreuger) Englund, I've been in video games (the popular Backyard Wrestling series). I own my own company, IWA East Coast. I've traveled the world -- Australia, Germany, England, Canada. Frankly, I'm afraid that if I stop wrestling, those things will stop, too.



Later on that day, Chip Chimney journeyed over to Legion Parkway in Brockton to one of the dope houses, where the youngest of the Cannibal Cartel – TRENT ACID – is currently residing. Here’s what he had to say…

CHIP CHIMNEY: Nice spot you got here, Trent. What brings you out to Broken City with the Cannibal Cartel (besides the black tar heroin)?


TRENT ACID: I love everything about it, man [BCCW]. The whole sport, traveling, entertaining and meeting new people. That is what I am all about. I've been a born entertainer all my life. My grandma started taking me to shows when I was 4 years old. Believe it or not, the funny story is, no matter what anyone tells you, the reason why [the name] "Trent" was picked was because it was one of the 100 most popular names for males. And I was skimming through a magazine at the time in 1994 and I was thinking, well my real name, and I wont tell you what it is but it is the most popular name for males…As for Acid, well, I would rather keep that on the DL, you know what I mean? I thought it was catchy.

Suddenly, completely breaking keyfabe and giving a fuck less about it – none other than NEW JACK barges into the dope house with his motley crew. Seeing the mics and cameras, he immediately comes over.



NEW JACK: Who is this [interview] for?

TRENT ACID: Online Onslaught.

NEW JACK: Who?

TRENT ACID: Online Onslaught. It's a shoot.

NEW JACK: Who are you talking about?

TRENT ACID: About myself. I'm talking about myself.

NEW JACK: This is my buddy [Trent] right? And whatever he says is true. If he said I fucked a goat, I did. But I was drunk, and the goat had lipstick on so I thought the bitch was pretty.

TRENT ACID: And the thing about training, this is the guy who taught me the most devastating punch in wrestling.

NEW JACK: That's right because all I know is the punch. And those of you who believe that, you're out of your motherfucking mind. I will work rings around your ass, but I don't get paid for that kind of shit. I get paid to beat motherfuckers to death. But if you beat me up, I will SHOOT YOU! I'm licensed to carry a gun and I will shoot the shit out of you! All you motherfucking bitches! I ain't going to be no bitch!

TRENT ACID: That man right there is New Jack. He is the man. He taught me the art of wrestling and how to make it look real. Actually, a true story real quick because this is a shoot, I broke my arm five years ago in a gym and everyone thought that I wasn't even hurt but [New Jack] knew it right away and he rode with me in my car with my mother to the hospital.

NEW JACK: Yea. We got a history. And look, them two girls in Philly that are pregnant, and they let me and him put it in. But that wasn't us man. We pulled it out. We pulled it out! That ain't our babies! We pulled it out and shot them on the chin!

CHIP CHIMNEY: (trying to regain control of the interview) Now when BCCW…

NEW JACK: Hold on. Don't move on without me. I got a whole lot of babies. Counting my babies is like playing a game of spades. I got three and four possible. Alright, I'm gone.

TRENT ACID: Naw, thanks New Jack. Thanks Jack. Hey, considering this is a shoot, I'm going to shoot on everybody. Considering I got New Jack here, he's got my back. I got SICK NICK MONDO and VIC GRIMES. I got a lot of support so I'm going to shoot. Its bullshit. A lot of people talking shit about BCCW saying that its hardcore crap. Well, they said the same thing about ECW when it started, yet it changed the history of wrestling. I don't care what anybody says but ECW changed the face of wrestling, everybody knows it, and it became the biggest threat to everybody. BCCW – and the Cannibal Cartel – is just something a whole group of guys, from all over the world, compete and work really hard for. You want to talk about the best locker room, the nicest guys, guys who take pride in their work. There are guys with vices, drug addicts, idiots that get caught up in all the gaga that goes with it, there are just guys who are athletes working together in a TRUE company and that is why it succeeds, because everybody is good peoples. That is the best way I can put it. There are a lot of people who are jealous and a lot of people are bitter because they can't do it. But hey, they can't cut the mustard because it is the best.

CHIP CHIMNEY: Have you ever been to Broken City before? I know the dope is some of the best.

TRENT ACID: This is my first time wrestling in Money Massachusetts. I have been to the West Indies in Trinidad, I've been to Alaska, and I've been to Japan eleven times. As you know I'm the Big Japan Junior Heavyweight Champion and speaking of which, I have been the champion for a while which is a pretty good long time for an American to hold a Japanese title. I have defended [the Big Japan Junior Heavyweight Title] all over America. Up and down the East Coast. Anyplace you can say, I have been there. Hey, this is a long interview. Am I getting paid for this?

CHIP CHIMNEY: No.

TRENT ACID: Shit.

 

"VICIOUS" VIC GRIMES aka Kilo Killa has amassed his army for the sole purpose of overtaking the BCCW Death Match scene and asserting his dominance of this sick genre.

At "BEHIND the WALL", Vic Grimes will be competing in a 3-Way Dance of Death for the King of the Death Match #1 Contendership alongside Pogo the Clown and Abdullah the Butcher. But Vic Grimes is confident he will be victorious.

Despite the lengthy rap-sheet of his opponents, Vic Grimes insists their both clowns. Especially Abdullah the Butcher. Vic Grimes has gone out of his way to dig up some rare jewels on Abdullah - namely his soft, sell-out, mainstream ass hawking cheap soda and other crap in Japan. So much for the "Mad Man from the Sudan" huh??? So much for somebody you should be deathly afraid of right??? Nope - Abdullah the Butcher is the biggest clown in the business. And here's the proof:








CREDITS:

SICK NICK MONDO: Genickbruch.com Interview

MADMAN PONDO: Interviews with Bob Kapur and Chris Gramlich for SLAM! Wrestling

TRENT ACID (and New Jack): Interview with Josh Shibata, 2002